Filibusting on Evian Water

Evian is clearly superior to other waters. Like for real.

Polish Spring? No.

Dasani? No.

AirWater? Don't make me laugh.

Vitamin Water? Not real water thank you.

Brita filtered tap water? Sure, if you're a bourgeois pig.

Brita filtered tap water with coal? Please see the previous sentence.

New York Tap Water? No.

L.A. Tap Water? HA! no.

Chicago Tap Water? No.

Seattle Tap Water? No.

San Francisco Tap Water? No.

Atlanta Tap Water? No.

Charlotte Tap Water? No.

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Salt Lake City Water? You're a fucking idiot.

Filibusting on bottles of beer

99 Bottles of Beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, you take one down you pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall.

98 Bottles of Beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer, you take one down you pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall.

97 Bottles of Beer on the wall, 97 bottles of beer, you take one down you pass it around, 96 bottles of beer on the wall.

96 Bottles of Beer on the wall, 96 bottles of beer, you take one down you pass it around, 95 bottles of beer on the wall.

95 Bottles of Beer on the wall, 95 bottles of beer, you take one down you pass it around, 94 bottles of beer on the wall.

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Filibusting on LOST

First and foremost let's be real for a second and say that if LOST is purgatory I'm going to flip shit. That being said I don't think it is purgatory because with the different universes it's clearly using a sort of quantum universe thing instead, like all of this has already happened you see in a separate universe! Pretty exciting when you think about it.

And let's be real, that's a pretty fascinating thing, different quantum universes as a solution for different time lines, because for a while I thought the only way time travel made sense was with the movie Back to the Future and then I grew up a little bit and I realized how silly that movie is and that the only way it makes sense is with Twelve Monkeys and I thought that was a really logical thing you know since time is linear and so of course Bruce Willis would see himself in that war photo. For a while if any time travel movie didn't follow twelve monkeys I thought it was dumb but now I'm pretty sure that LOST is fascinating because with quantum mechanics anything could happen and why not have time travel be a trigger for different universes. It all makes sense in a weird way.

Also, I don't give a shit if they never bring up polar bears again but they better explain Walt.

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Filibusting on Filibusters

Ladies and gentlemen of the house I refuse to let this bill pass, just refuse, and let me tell you exactly why: I love filibusters. If I had my way everyone in the world would just filibust everything from what they want to eat to who should be elected president to just about everything because the best part of democracy is letting an individual stop it because he just doesn't want it to go through probably because he got paid by a large corporation that or his penis is just really small and he's trying to make up for it by talking and talking and talking in front of the Senate. I just love that.

When I was talking about "people" up there clearly I was referencing my hero Jim Bunning who is pretty damn good at talking and talking and talking and helping people out by keeping them OUT of work. I mean let's be real here who wants to go back to work? Obviously Jim Bunning. He loves going to work. Because at work he just gets to talk and talk and talk and realize that he could amount to something in life YOU HEAR THAT MOM!

Filibustering needs to seriously be reconsidered in congress' eyes. Once it was a way for a minority to get a say, but it seems to now only be used for corporate greed to get a say... and that's just wrong.

In conclusion, Jim Bunning is making up for his small dick by continuously talking.

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